Begin with Yourself : The Journey of Finding a Relationship

from www.dailyom.com

The journey to finding a relationship is just that, a journey that uses all of our life wisdom and experiences.

Before we embark upon the journey of finding the relationship that is right for us, we may want to take the opportunity to refine our concept of who we are and our ideas of what we want from life. That way, we are clearer on the kind of person we want to attract into our lives. Part of the journey of finding a mate is learning how to become our own mate. When we can learn to meet our needs without relying on someone else to complete us, we don’t have to form relationships from the space of needing our emptiness to be filled. We can also discover our intrinsic value, separate from what someone else might be reflecting back to us. Getting to know who we are and learning to love ourselves creates a solid foundation of self that we can bring to any relationship.

We are fortunate to live in a time when relationships can unfold at a pace that is right for us and take unique forms. Friendship, dating, open relationships, long term relationships, long distance relationships, or committed relationships — we are free to choose the kind of relationships that we want. If you want to be in relationship, but haven’t found the right one for you, remember that the universe works in perfect order and, therefore, right now your life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to be. Maybe all this time has been part of your preparation period for meeting your intended partner. Even the relationships in our lives that haven’t worked out as we had hoped serve us by teaching us to make better choices in our next relationships.

Finding the relationship we want can come early or later in life. It may even happen again and again in one lifetime. There is no right or wrong for how to find a relationship nor is there a timeline that you have to follow. Follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, continue to become your own soul mate, and stay open to love. The journey of finding the right relationship begins with being in right relationship with yourself.

Asanas Do Not Make A Yogi

By Bhartendu Sood

Bhartendu Sood

Performing exercises under the guidance of self-styled yoga gurus does not constitute complete yoga. There is no doubt that these exercises, aimed at toning up the body, are indeed one of the eightfold stages of Ashtanga Yoga called 'asana' as enunciated by Sage Patanjali. However, that is only one of the seven stages in the order that Patanjali proposed. When performed in isolation, these are reduced to mere physical exercises. Again these asanas can improve your looks and your internal systems with a better figure and physical efficiency but it will be incorrect to think that performance of these asanas can turn you into a better human being.

The eight stages of ashtanga yoga are yama, niyama, asana, pranayama, pratihara, dharana, dhyana and samadhi. The five yamas are non-violence, truthfulness, non-stealing, celibacy and non-covetousness. The five niyamas are cleanliness, contentment, austerity, self-study and surrender to God. Sage Patanjali expected seekers to embrace yama and niyama before coming to the third stage, asana. The eightfold path is to take the practitioner towards moral, physical and spiritual uplift. The ultimate aim of yoga is spiritual realisation or samadhi via mind and body.

5 Ways Yoga Can Enhance New Year's Resolutions

An article by Erica Rodefer. She is a writer and yoga enthusiast in Charleston, SC. Visit her blog, Spoiledyogi.com, follow her on Twitter, or like her on Facebook.

I'm not a huge fan of New Year's resolutions. It just seems so unrealistic to expect yourself to change over night. As a yoga student, I know that it takes practice and patience over a long period of time to change a long-held pattern. For example, I've been practicing relaxing my jaw for years now, and I still have to remind myself almost constantly. But this time of year we're all bombarded with messages that remind us that we should lose weight, get healthier, be happier, etc. There's nothing wrong with setting goals for the future, but I'm a firm believer that taking a yogic approach to those goals will help you reach them faster (and forgive yourself if you fall a little short, too!). 

Here are 5 ways yoga can help with common New Year's Resolutions.

What Are You Resisting?

An article by Sally Kempton. Also known as Durgananda, she is an author, meditation teacher, and the founder of the Dharana Institute. For more information, visit Sally Kempton.

When you notice yourself feeling constricted, or stagnant, or stuck—all words to describe the same phenomenon—ask yourself what you are resisting. You'll probably know the answer right away. It might be a change of some kind: perhaps a shift in diet or in your personal practice, or maybe in your attitude toward your family life, your relationships, or yourself. 

Once you've noticed the arena of resistance, let yourself feel the sensation of resisting. What does the resistance feel like in your body?

Brave Heart

An article by Sally Kempton. Also known as Durgananda, she is an author, a meditation teacher, and the founder of the Dharana Institute. For more information, visit www.sallykempton.com.

Scott, an ex-Special Forces guy I met in the late 1980s, had spent 20 years as a covert operative for hyperdangerous missions. He was one of those guys who would sneak into Soviet embassies in places like Cambodia to steal secret papers. Then the Cold War ended and he went home to someplace like Pennsylvania. There he discovered that his formerly hard-drinking parents had gotten sober, joined AA, and wanted Scott to go to Al-Anon, the 12-step program for relatives of alcoholics. 

"What you have to realize," he said, "is that in all my years in the Special Forces, I'd never been afraid. I loved danger, and I was really good at it. But when I walked into that meeting, I was so terrified that I couldn't stay in the room."

Scott had literally never spent a moment looking at himself or at the source of his pain. The world of feelings was a place of darkness for him and, like all unknown territory, profoundly scary. But he faced his fear and not only went back to that Al-Anon meeting but decided to journey further into himself by learning to meditate. For Scott, that was about as brave an act as, say, parachute jumping would be for me.

On Death

Sad news has made its way into the surfing community as reports have confirmed the untimely death of 3x World Champion, Andy Irons.

Official Billabong Press Release:

HONOLULU – (November 2, 2010) — The world of surfing mourns an incredibly sad loss today with the news that Hawaii’s Andy Irons has died. Andy was a beloved husband, and a true champion. Irons, 32, withdrew from a professional surfing event in Puerto Rico last weekend due to illness and passed away during a layover en-route to his home in Kauai, Hawaii. He had reportedly been battling with dengue fever, a viral disease.

News such as this are often times hard to believe, considering that Andy was at the prime of his life and career. Isn't it funny that even though we constantly see death around us, part of us still thinks that it will never happen to someone like Andy nor even to ourselves? Or, even though we know in our hearts that death will come but because we are so attached to life we believe our appointment with death will not arrive just yet.

How to Be Fierce

By Sally Kempton

OM Krim Shri Kaliye Namaha!

"You need to find your Kali side," I told Annie. You may know someone like Annie; in fact, you might have an Annie in your yoga class. She's a manager at a local TV station, a single mom with a busy schedule, and a really nice person. She values yoga as a doorway to well-being, teaches it to troubled teens, and always stresses the importance of equanimity and other yogic virtues—nonviolence, surrender, contentment, nonattachment.

But Annie's approach to yoga is like her approach to life: She is so conflict averse that it's hard for her even to admit she has negative feelings. She rarely raises her voice, and she once told me that she can't remember the last time she felt anger. But at this moment, mired in a family conflict that involves money, elder abuse, and lawyers, Annie senses that her carefully cultivated tendency to seek peace instead of conflict is not helping her. She's called me for advice: She wants to be told how to maintain her relationship with her siblings and still stop them from cheating her mother out of her property. In other words, she wants me to give her a prescription for solving her conflict in a nice, nonviolent yogic way.

Protective Services

An article by Sally Kempton. She  is an internationally recognized teacher of meditation and yogic philosophy 
and the author of The Heart of Meditation. Visit her website at sallykempton.com. www.sallykempton.com.

Dan does not like to think of himself as vulnerable. He's a surgeon, a person who faces life and death every day. He started yoga and meditation as part of a stress-control program, and he loves the practice. But recently he's been noticing a big shift in his perspective: The people on his operating table have stopped looking like abstractions, or collections of organs. Instead, he's been feeling tenderness, a recognition of their pain and fear. "These people look so...vulnerable," he told me. "It makes me feel all soft and raw." He stopped for a moment, and I saw tears in his eyes. "I have to say it: I feel so open that it almost hurts sometimes."

What Color is Your Parachute?

I'm sharing a good article about DHARMA by Sally Kempton. She is also known as Durgananda, is an author, a meditation teacher, and the founder of the Dharana Institute. For more information, visit www.sallykempton.com.

Dharma Wheel

Your personal dharma is the path you follow toward the highest expression of your own nature—and toward the fulfillment of your responsibilities to yourself, to others, to your society, and to the planet. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna often speaks of dharma as something inborn, a life calling that each of us has been given and from which we depart at our peril. But he also uses the word to mean right action, and for most of us, personal dharma comes down to that most basic question: What is the right thing for me to do now? Or, given my nature, my skills, and my personal preferences, what actions should I take to support the greater good?

You CAN Teach an Old Dog New Tricks: Yoga as a Tool for Life Transformation

Although medical knowledge is constantly being refined, the basis of what we know about getting and staying healthy haven't changed much in recent years. Just about everybody knows you shouldn't smoke, and that you should eat lots of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, get some kind of regular exercise, and keep your stress level from spiraling out of control. The difficult part isn't knowing what to do, it's actually doing it!

The Eight Limbs of Yoga, and How They Work Together

taken from: "Ashtanga Yoga: Practice and Philosophy" by Gregor Maehle


According to Patanjali there are eight "limbs" of yoga. How they work together can be understood from the following story: